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Re: Funerals by Phone?
Over the years I have had a lot of requests asking me as a pastor if I had copies of the funeral message I delivered or if I would object to a tape recorder being present. I personally had no trouble and thought that it might be helpful to those who are experiencing 'distant grief'. I even encouraged a video taping of a funeral for a family where the father died very young and the child was about 3 years old. And most likely would not remember the funeral. When the daughter becomes older it may help to have that sort of grief support resource.<o:p></o:p>
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Frankly, this is not too unusual when one thinks of all the ways throughout history that individuals and communities have tried to capture those last moments with a loved one including death masks (famous example President Abe Lincoln) , hand prints. hair clippings that have often been braided and made into elaborate thanostic (death related) art displays (especially in Victorian era), tooth / teeth in a necklace, photos and drawings of the deceased, relics of bones, cloth and even splinters of wood from the floor that the person who has died walked on or died on is kept and treasured as very significant. These are just a few of the examples.<o:p></o:p>
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In my course Distant Grief ~ Far Away <st1:PersonName w:st="on">Tear</st1:PersonName>s there is a good discussion on creative ways to help those who are grieving from a distance. The more we are a mobile society and global family, the more we will need to find creative means to address the grief that we have when a loved one dies.<o:p></o:p>
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Some excellent ways that may help to generate creativity about ways to grieve in a healthy manner are the ones that families use when an infant dies or fetus dies prior to birth. There are so many touching ways that family have created or found that have helped to address the pain of such loss.
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Prior to the Civil War / War Between The States (as it is called by many in the Southern portion of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region>) there were a number of creative ways that families used to help with their grief since those who died far away were buried at the geographical location of the death. Starting during the peak of the Civil War / War Between The States embalming was just starting to become available for the general military population and 'embalming theaters? were established just behind the battle fields and 'undertakers' ( those who took the dead under the ground) / ?morticians? ( those involved in death ?mort = death in Latin) were very busy 12-18 hours a day embalming bodies for transport home on both sides of the conflict. World War II was the last of the major wars for the <st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:country-region> and <st1:place w:st="on">Western Europe</st1:place> that had significant burial of military members on 'foreign' soil. From Korea War and Viet Nam Conflict the thrust has been that no one is left behind dead or alive and as many as possible are brought home for burial. That is why there is still an emphasis on recovery searches for Missing In Action military members from the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Viet Nam</st1:country-region></st1:place> conflict in particular.<o:p></o:p>
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10-15 yeas ago, it was unique for a spouse or loved one to take pictures of the birthing of a baby, now it is much more common. I believe that what you have shown us in this article will be much more common in the months and years ahead. With more public funerals being broadcasted around the world of the famous, in time it will become common for the general population to have their own broadcasts of their funerals as well.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Very interesting article and funeral service support.
<o:p> </o:p>
My question is: How would you feel about :
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1-<!--[endif]-->Seeing a video of a loved one?s funeral far away?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2-<!--[endif]-->Being part of the actual funeral service knowing that it was being recorded?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3-<!--[endif]-->Would you be willing to request a video of a loved one?s funeral?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4-<!--[endif]-->Would you want YOUR funeral video recorded? Why or Why Not?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5-<!--[endif]-->Do you think recorded funerals are helpful? Appropriate? Respectful?
<o:p> </o:p>
Interested in everyone?s comments.<o:p></o:p>
Terrie Modesto
Over the years I have had a lot of requests asking me as a pastor if I had copies of the funeral message I delivered or if I would object to a tape recorder being present. I personally had no trouble and thought that it might be helpful to those who are experiencing 'distant grief'. I even encouraged a video taping of a funeral for a family where the father died very young and the child was about 3 years old. And most likely would not remember the funeral. When the daughter becomes older it may help to have that sort of grief support resource.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Frankly, this is not too unusual when one thinks of all the ways throughout history that individuals and communities have tried to capture those last moments with a loved one including death masks (famous example President Abe Lincoln) , hand prints. hair clippings that have often been braided and made into elaborate thanostic (death related) art displays (especially in Victorian era), tooth / teeth in a necklace, photos and drawings of the deceased, relics of bones, cloth and even splinters of wood from the floor that the person who has died walked on or died on is kept and treasured as very significant. These are just a few of the examples.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
In my course Distant Grief ~ Far Away <st1:PersonName w:st="on">Tear</st1:PersonName>s there is a good discussion on creative ways to help those who are grieving from a distance. The more we are a mobile society and global family, the more we will need to find creative means to address the grief that we have when a loved one dies.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Some excellent ways that may help to generate creativity about ways to grieve in a healthy manner are the ones that families use when an infant dies or fetus dies prior to birth. There are so many touching ways that family have created or found that have helped to address the pain of such loss.
<o:p> </o:p>
Prior to the Civil War / War Between The States (as it is called by many in the Southern portion of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region>) there were a number of creative ways that families used to help with their grief since those who died far away were buried at the geographical location of the death. Starting during the peak of the Civil War / War Between The States embalming was just starting to become available for the general military population and 'embalming theaters? were established just behind the battle fields and 'undertakers' ( those who took the dead under the ground) / ?morticians? ( those involved in death ?mort = death in Latin) were very busy 12-18 hours a day embalming bodies for transport home on both sides of the conflict. World War II was the last of the major wars for the <st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:country-region> and <st1:place w:st="on">Western Europe</st1:place> that had significant burial of military members on 'foreign' soil. From Korea War and Viet Nam Conflict the thrust has been that no one is left behind dead or alive and as many as possible are brought home for burial. That is why there is still an emphasis on recovery searches for Missing In Action military members from the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Viet Nam</st1:country-region></st1:place> conflict in particular.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
10-15 yeas ago, it was unique for a spouse or loved one to take pictures of the birthing of a baby, now it is much more common. I believe that what you have shown us in this article will be much more common in the months and years ahead. With more public funerals being broadcasted around the world of the famous, in time it will become common for the general population to have their own broadcasts of their funerals as well.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Very interesting article and funeral service support.
<o:p> </o:p>
My question is: How would you feel about :
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1-<!--[endif]-->Seeing a video of a loved one?s funeral far away?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2-<!--[endif]-->Being part of the actual funeral service knowing that it was being recorded?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3-<!--[endif]-->Would you be willing to request a video of a loved one?s funeral?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4-<!--[endif]-->Would you want YOUR funeral video recorded? Why or Why Not?
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5-<!--[endif]-->Do you think recorded funerals are helpful? Appropriate? Respectful?
<o:p> </o:p>
Interested in everyone?s comments.<o:p></o:p>
Terrie Modesto
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