Re: The dead children thread
Re: The dead children thread
Follow up from 196;
Tribute | Brandon McLilly’s unconditional love transcended barriers
By MARGARET SCHMITZ RIZZO
Special to The Star
He was often a victim of injustice, but Brandon McLilly never repaid unkindness with malice.
Who: Brandon Michael Thomas McLilly, 16, of Leavenworth.
When, how and where he died: Sept. 21, of the H1N1 virus, at Children’s Mercy Hospital.
Growing up: Brandon’s sister, Briana, was 12 years older and his brother, Brian, six years older. They took their roles as nurturers and protectors seriously — so much that Mom found it difficult to discipline Brandon.
“They would grab him and run so he wouldn’t get in trouble,” Carmen McLilly recalled.
According to her, he was spoiled and got anything he requested. But he never asked for anything except people’s time — to read with him, go to a movie or watch TV.
“He just wanted to be with you,” she said.
Brandon had Down syndrome. Carmen McLilly remembers people telling her how lucky he was to have the McLillys as parents.
“I would say, ‘No, we’re really lucky to have Brandon.’ If I had had Brandon first, I would have had 15 kids,” she said.
Loved music and dancing: Brandon loved people, loved life, loved to eat. His smile was contagious and he remembered the names and faces of everyone he met.
At the day care center Briana started for children with special needs, Brandon served as a mentor. He helped with birthday parties and art projects. When Brandon had physical therapy, all the kids had physical therapy.
“He could probably have run the day care by himself. He liked being in charge,” she said. “He was the one they looked up to.”
His father, Curtis McLilly, remembers Brandon as one of only two people (his grandmother being the other one) he’s ever known who demonstrated true unconditional love.
“Lots of people demonstrate unconditional love sometimes or even most of the time,” Curtis said. “He did it all of the time. That love enabled him to transcend age, sex, race — all the barriers in life. He reached for the humanity in people and they responded to that.”
Lessons from a son: Curtis McLilly found the school system flawed when it came to educating a child with Down syndrome.
“Often, Brandon wasn’t seen as a student to be educated, but a problem to be gotten rid of. He had a desire to learn, but the school system didn’t know how to teach him,“ he said.
That experience embodied Martin Luther King Jr.’s words “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” for the father who now tries to live by the words, helping those unable to help themselves.
A warrior: After his premature birth, Brandon battled for every breath. Then, as a toddler fighting respiratory syncytial virus, he struggled once more to live.
“He did not try to live life on his own terms, but he lived life on life’s terms,” Curtis McLilly said. “He took it as it came.”
Last year, respiratory problems emerged again. Brandon soldiered on until his last illness.
“This last hospitalization — I knew he couldn’t fight it. It was bigger than him, but he was a warrior,” said his mother, adding that older brother Brian told her that “Brandon was his hero, because he was a fighter in the way he approached life.”
“He was my hero, too,” she said.
Survivors include: His parents, a sister and brother, a grandmother, a great aunt and aunts, uncles and cousins.
Final word: Family friend Ken Church said Brandon “had no acrimony, no hate, no vindictiveness in his nature although he suffered injustice because of his disability, his race and his size. He never repaid unkindness with malice. He and his family helped my wife, myself and countless others bridge the barrier of race that sometimes keeps people apart. Brandon McLilly was a giant when it came to being a human being.”
http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/story/1511197.html
